Have you ever been in love? Really. In love to the depths of your very being?
Have You?
How about … have you been in love with a pet, a dog, or a puppy?
I was. I am.
But.
The hurt, when snatched away forever, as if to not matter.
Words that some people have used to describe. This person.
Unbearable.
Unthinkable.
Shocking.
Cruel.
Mean.
Heartless.
Horrible.
Terrible.
9 months old. The love of my life, she was.
JOY. Walking.
JOY. Upon. Waking.
I wore.
Heart on sleeve.
I held.
Heart in both hands.
Now.
Raw.
Open.
Now. Heart Broken. Totally it seems. In a million pieces.
With no way to return.
To the way. Of before.
– brenda johima
* In memory of my puppy Xena (my once in a lifetime soul dog), who I had in my life way too briefly, from August 27, 2012, to March 5, 2013. Please note, I want to set the record straight. I NEVER gave Xena up by choice. She was taken back by the breeder, without just cause, and who breached my contract. She literally took Xena from my arms, and I have never seen her since.
This is a warning to everyone in the public, I am a very smart woman, and I got fooled by something that was too good to be true.
Please save yourself a heartbreak if you attach deeply and love your dogs as much as I do.
Do not ever participate in a program of “fostering” or “guardian” for “professional” purebred dog breeders.
They literally can (and did) snatch your dog;/puppy back, without just cause, as happened to me, leaving you financially and emotionally hurting. (this is different than “fostering” rescues or dogs, puppies and pets in need, from reputable rescue organizations).
In “fostering” for a “professional” breeder, you do not pay upfront for the puppy, but you pay all the costs for veterinary, food, and daily care. You take this “forever” puppy into your home as it is your own. (that is how it is presented and sold by breeders) … she was MINE! (I thought) …
I taught little Xena puppy every command, spent 24/7 with her, socialized her with people of all kinds, took her to a zillion different places to explore and see different things. I taught her how to climb over logs and bridges and obstacles, and she could RUN LIKE THE WIND!
I wanted Xena as an agility dog, when she would be old enough, and was eager to do obedience and agility with this little sweetie. In the meantime, she got to practice on her “race track” and run FULL SPEED here in Fanny Bay, on the mud flats and beaches, with no vehicle access. A safe place to train running. The biggest mistake I made was send the breeder videos of Xena in action. I could FEEL that they wanted her back as they too, knew they had an agility trophy prize winner on their hands, but were stuck, as I had Xena under contract with me.
Unfortunately, Xena had some health problem that needed further veterinary investigation. Somethining that showed like a “head tremor” and I was willing to do ANYTHING to make sure she was OK. The breeder insisted I deliver Xena to her, to take her to her own vet, despite my willingness to work with my veterinary clinic here. The breeder took Xena right from my arms. I have never seen her again (except on the breeder’s website) and we fully expected Xena to be coming back to our home after the breeders veterinarian checked her out.
This ended VERY badly. And a greedy breeder, who kept Xena, despite me following the contract to a tee. A contract I followed to perfection, in fact.
End of Story.
Always Love, Xena My Soul Dog,
Brenda