I was going to write this post yesterday but I could not get myself into the zone of a heart place from which to write. Why write about your cancer journey if not coming from the heart, I thought. Who would want to read it and why would I want to put it out there? Out here. If not from the heart.
Yet here I sit now, in the dark of the morning of the next day, and yet still I cannot access that heart place inside that I wish to reach. Could it be the morphine? The tylenol and morphine around the clock 24/7 for pain management?
Could it simply be that I am exhausted, “chemo-fatigued” and not in the creative flow? But … creativity is always flowing, I thought. (I actually believe this)
Creativity … it’s like our bloodstream, stuff just keeps on moving through. A block in a bloodstream is rare from what I know … and you know what happens when that happens, if your bloodstream gets blocked.
I am alive and well (except for breast cancer) so let’s just assume that creativity is flowing, under there, somewhere … creativity flows the same as a bloodstream, under there … almost silent, similar to water flowing along a rocky river bottom, grabbing everything in sight, with its gentle tug and pull. Twisting and turning, creativity is going over bumps and logs, around snags and crags, pushing past and over rocks and boulders, pushing out stuck plaque as I breathe in and out, in and out, in and out … and as my heart keeps on beating strong.”
There. So I write anyway.
Where are we at? Where am I at now?
- To date, I have had 3 chemotherapy treatments in Victoria, B.C. at the BC Cancer Agency Vancouver Island Centre for breast cancer. There are fabulous people there caring for me. I feel incredibly grateful for the medical care I receive there, and applaud myself for having the guts and smarts to choose to go there for treatment and to try to raise funds to make it happen.
- I have 1 more chemo treatment in about 3 weeks.
- I get Neupogen injections in between chemotherapy treatments for 5 days in a row, each cycle. These (apparently) boost my white blood cell counts back up in between treatments.
- After my final chemotherapy, I get about a 3 week break to recover from chemo and to prepare my body for radiation.
- Then next? Almost 4 weeks of radiation begins. (I will need to be away from home for a solid 4 weeks in order to maintain my energy, have time to heal and to recover, and to avoid the exhausting 3.5 hour drive to and from treatment on Mondays and Fridays)
- After radiation? About 5 years of hormonal therapies (tamoxifen) … unless of course, another CURE or miracle happens 🙂
There we have it!
Thank you for reading this and for following my journey.
With Love and Gratitude,
Brenda
P.S. Here is something that is really really hard for me to do.
If you have a place online that you can share the fundraising link, will you, please? Cut and paste the YouCaring URL into Twitter, Facebook, emails, Google+ or anywhere you may be sharing online. I only have a few more months to get through, and to raise funds for.
I (or the administrators of the campaign) will be updating the YouCaring site and will be including another journal post shortly, that outlines what still needs to be paid for, and what is coming up as far as expenses, breast cancer related.
Also, there is a really cool widget off to the right column. See it? It is so simple to cut and paste to help spread the word.
Or right here below is an example. The widget looks like this visually and it is SO easy to cut and paste into your numerous applications online:
OR.
Here is what the actual *code looks like. This will take people right to my own personal YoucCaring fundraising page to donate :
<iframe src=”http://www.youcaring.com/fundraiser-widget.aspx?frid=189216″ width=”260″ height=”398″ frameborder=”0″></iframe>
*YouCaring has made it super easy for you to help me raise funds. Simply grab the widget code, cut and paste the widget code into your website, or WordPress blog side bar as I have done.
I never thought I would be in this position in my lifetime, ever, asking for donated funds. Please know, that every little bit of money raised really does help. Some people have donated $5.00. Some, $350.00 or $20.00 or $150.00.
Every amount, no matter how small or large, does help Teddy and I.
P.S. P.S. I am also open, if you think that there is a service that I provide or talent I have, tell me what you need, and we can do a trade for cash donations for services. Social media? Photography? A workshop or speaking engagement? A painting? A commissioned painting?
