Falling to pieces, falling apart … what if that phase in your life where you feel you are falling apart, is actually the path leading to the place where you are once again having everything falling together again?
When in the depths of despair and grief, sadness and loss, transformation and change, it can not only feel overwhelming, it is overwhelming. Trying to reframe this period of life when in the midst of it, as something positive, sometimes, seems impossible.
Then, I say, stop trying to. (she tells herself)
BE with the loneliness, the sadness, the grief, the loss, the confusion … let it be. This is something I am trying to learn again and again, as for me, it really is the only way out through to the other side, albeit painful. I would rather not hurt so much.
For me when having a hard time I am told, “relax” “stop worrying” or “don’t worry” … none of it is helpful when in the throes of change.
What does help? Listening. Deep listening. Feeling heard. Feeling listened to. It’s really that basic. Throw in feeling loved and thats a big bonus.
I wish I could remember where I found this, which was based on research, but basically that THE most important thing that people actually need is to feel heard and to feel listened to. That’s it. It is that simple and that crucial. Yet how many of us are good at that? Most people tend to run from difficult emotions, from within themselves, or when expressed by others.
Give it a try? Who can you listen to today? Make time. Take time. You just might change someones life. Heck, you may even save someones life.
Trust me, you have time.